Be I

I always been thinking that someday I will be able to say what is the truth: that I am someone who no longer cry over something stupid and that I will no longer be frightened walking alone. But once my mind comprehended, I just got suddenly scared to admit it. I got a hope that’s in my heart. I asked myself every time, what will I get if I change myself? Will I be happy then? Will people still care? I am just too naive. I don’t have the courage on whether I’ll be accepted or not. I’d been so sad – too sad that I can barely take it. That every person I know would just judge me and hate me. I know I am sensitive. Get hurt and wounded by even just a simple lie. But what should I do to myself then if I would always feel alone? Should I go to what people will say to me. Should I accept? I know I’m just repeating what I had said. Too obvious that people around knows me what I am pertaining to or what I am trying to say. I know to myself who I am, and even these people knows exactly who I am without me telling my story. My actions are seen through my obvious lies. The mask that covers my everything. The barriers I build to protect my pride, my loneliness, and my sinful life.

There are things  I don’t want to say

There are thing I just cant understand

And it seems like everything goes away

Here I am alone and broken again


I am afraid that rain will not end

The tears that overflows outside and kills my inside

Will it ever end and make me smile once again

For I hope one day you’ll be mine


I cant no longer hide this feeling

And I cant bare the pain inside my brain

That everyday my heart will fade

Swept away by loneliness and pain


I kept this for so long ago

Sealed it, never let it go

For I am afraid to admit that I was wrong

But even I want to, I am not that strong


Will you forgive me for being this small

And for always been a dumbass lier

I want to give it up, be my all

And I want to lone myself free forevermore



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