The Unrequited Love of Phantom

Why is it hard to find someone who is worthy enough for the love you are offering? If falling in love is entrusting yourself to that person then why is not easy to give in? Love has many splendor things but also it contains darkness. You started to be a stranger, going to casual acquaintance, and then started to be friends, after that you considered being best friends. But after many years being together, one started to fell in love, and now came the confession. But the other one does not love you, so rejection is the only answer. You met each other on that road but travelled on different direction. You crossed again on the intersection but waved good bye after the small conversation. How painful it is. How rude it is. Everyone deserves to find happiness. Everyone must know what love is. I know how it felt. It still burns. And it marks. For so many years I had kept it, there is nothing but a pain in my heart. It was five years back. Yes, five years of hurting myself on an unrequited love.

 

I remember when I first met you. I did not feel any special towards you. You’re simple. You don’t wear make-up. You don’t dress well. I cannot even find any sense of attraction. You’re nothing that special. Yet, I find it very controversial. Whenever I look at you, I felt something inside me, that telling me that I want to be with you every day. I’d kept this feeling. I’d hold onto it. I didn’t tell you this love I have for you because I don’t want to break our ties. It simply implies how much you mean to me. I cannot even tell whether I am just happy or overjoyed. But knowing you’re the only one I’ve got, I’ll never let you go. Until one day, I got all confused and mixed-up. Why am I feeling this down? Why it is painful? Why is it this depressing? I get it. I am not the guy you love, right? How did I know? It shows in your face. Your eyes told me. You cried and turn around and walk away. You didn’t utter a word. Just a tear that told me, I’m sorry.

 

It didn’t sink in. I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to believe it. I don’t want to release it. But everything in me didn’t follow.  My mind started to ache and my heart started to break. Just a drop of tears, I’d lose all of me. I tried to recover. I did self-forgive. But I can still hear the echoing. I can still feel the pain. I can still remember the love I have for you. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to let you go. So here I am waiting for you. Even I don’t have a clue whether you will fall for me too. Please embrace the love I am offering just for you. I promise to protect you. I promise to be with you. I promise to always love you. I can no longer think on what should or I must do in order for you to believe me. This stress piles up and I cannot measure it anymore because if I were to do that, I don’t know if I could still hold on.

 

I am being depressed and I cannot connect all these thoughts. I’d lost my job, my family, and me. Please remove this burden. Remove it. If I could not do it, I am definitely dead for sure. I don’t want to put into sleep because I still want you to say you love me. I still have hopes. I still have dreams. But none of them are true now. All of them do not exist because I have decided to put this to an end. As I hang myself, I keep saying I need light, I need your answer, and I need your love. But this is the end, I foresee the light approaching, taking me in. But this light will not last long because for another two minutes, it will end soon. Darkness will conquer it all.

 

Why? Why you are telling me now that you love me. It is late. My mind is dead. My heart is not beating anymore. I am cold. What?! Where did you go again? House? What did you do? Get? Get what? The ring? You want me to put the ring on your hand that your mother gave you? So you actually love me. You accepted my love. But it is too late. Too late to do that.

 

I had closed my eyes. I already saw darkness. I tried to wake up. I tried to open my lips. I tried to say it again before my last good bye. I know it is too late. I know this is the end. But I have to say it. I love you. I love you. I love you so much that I died just for you. But I’m sorry that I am not strong. I am sorry that I cannot wait long. I am sorry I had to close my eyes and sleep forever. I am sorry I have to say good bye.

 

The misery that happened to me even if I am dead now, I will do what I told you. I will never stop it. As I had promise, I will be with you. I will stay by your side forever. No matter how much it cost. No matter hard it is. No matter how crazy this is. I want you to remember just the simple things. I’ll stay. I’ll stay. I’d stayed. I will endure the pain. I’d last this long because I love you. Whether dead or alive, no one can compare the love I’d found when I am with you. I will wait until the days were running out.

 

credit to the owner of the photo.

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